Hi Family Last month in class we were talking about how to deal with difficult people, We all encounter difficult people at work, in our families, in church, and even among friends. Personalities clash, expectations disappoint, and sometimes words wound. The question is not if we will face difficult relationships, but how we will respond when we do. As followers of Christ, we are called to respond differently. The world reacts. We reflect Christ. It is always important to remember who you represent, we are ambassadors of Christ Scripture reminds us, “Let your light shine before others…” Matthew 5:16 When tensions rise, we represent Jesus. Our responses preach louder than our words. Before responding, ask: Does this reflect Christ’s character? The common phrase ‘what would Jesus do?’ comes to mind. Remember it is not weakness to respond with grace but rather it is strength under control. James 1:19 teaches us to be “Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. “Difficult people often trigger emotional reactions. But the Holy Spirit empowers us to pause. Take a breath. Pray silently. Choose wisdom over impulse. Somewhere inside you is a fruit of The Spirit if given enough time would come to surface and manifest, it could be love, kindness or any of the many fruits of The Spirit. A calm response can defuse a heated moment. It is also important to remember that Grace does not mean allowing mistreatment. Even Jesus withdrew from hostile crowds (Luke 5:16). Loving others does not require tolerating abuse or enabling unhealthy behaviour. If you are in any unhealthy atmosphere you can always withdraw yourself for to a much more healthy environment or relationship. Boundaries can sound like, “I’m not comfortable being spoken to that way.”, or “Let’s revisit this conversation when we’re both calm.” Mature healthy boundaries protect peace while maintaining love. Our Lord said “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Matthew 5:44Prayer changes perspective. It softens our hearts. When we pray for someone difficult, we begin to see them through God’s eyes often as someone wounded, fearful, or struggling. It is hard to hate someone you consistently lift before the Lord. Praying for those who hurt you is also a part of your own healing, it cleans your heart off bitterness. Praying for someone who is being difficult to you does not mean you are weak, neither does it mean you approve of what they are doing to you. It means you are like your father in heaven and you trust Him to vindicate you rather than vindicating yourself. Praying for those who hurt you also leads to you forgiving them. Unforgiveness chains us to the offence, forgiveness liberates you and you can quickly get to forgive when you pray. Forgiveness is not excusing the behaviour, it is releasing the burden to God. Ephesians 4:32 urges us to forgive as Christ forgave us. Sometimes difficult people reveal areas in us that need attention, you can use the challenges people bring to you as opportunities for growth. They may also reveal in you pride, impatience, insecurity. There are lessons to take from the way people are treating you, is there a possibility that you can extract a lesson out of all this? Maybe. That friction and uneasiness may be to polish you We are custodians of God’s love and Grace. We don’t just talk about this we live it.
THE GIFT OF INTIMACY: GOD’S DESIGN FROM THE BEGINNING (Part 1)
“It is not good that the man should be alone.” — Genesis 2:18 (KJV) This newsletter has been a long time coming, praise The Lord Jesus. It comes right on the subject we touched on partly, Intimacy. Intimacy is a topic many of us shy away from. It feels private, almost taboo, and rarely makes its way into everyday conversation or a sermon. Yet intimacy is one of the earliest subjects God addresses in Scripture. It is foundational to His design for humanity. It is also one of the major issues couples sights as an irreconcilable difference when they choose to separate or divorce or the reason why one or both spouses felt frustrated in the marriage home. Many fail to articulate this well, so they cover this lack of intimacy with other sensible reasons to make how they are feeling make sense. When God speaks of “man” in Genesis, He is referring not just to Adam as a male but to humanity (Genesis 1:26–27). Understanding this helps us grasp the depth of His statement. “It is not good that the man should be alone. “Up to that point in the creation story, everything God made was declared good (Genesis 1:10, 12, 18, 21, 25). Only one thing was called “not good”—the loneliness of man. Not because God made a mistake, but because God was revealing something essential about the human design: we were created for fellowship and relationship. It is God’s perfect design that we yearn for the comfort of another, to be seen and affirmed by your spouse. After God announces that man should not be alone, He does not at once create Eve. Instead, He brings every creature to Adam—livestock, birds, wild animals (Genesis 2:19–20). Adam met every living creature, yet “for Adam there was not found a help meet for him” (Genesis 2:20). Nothing in all creation—no animal, no experience, no possession could satisfy the deep need for human companionship. Many alternative sources people are trying today to satisfy the need of a deeper human connection were tested by God way before eve was created and they were found wanting then and they are still wanting today. Yet, we still see many try to fill the longing for intimacy with pets, hobbies, entertainment, or technology. But just as nothing in the Garden satisfied Adam’s relational need, nothing we substitute today can take the place of real human connection. Intimacy is not only sexual; it is relational, it is the ability to: Communicate deeply, laugh and cry together. Reason and even disagree, it is sharing meaning, value, and perspective. It is to simply say, “Look at that,” and to be understood This is the heart-level connection God had in mind. Intimacy is safety and security on many different levels. To withhold any part of intimacy or use it as a weapon against your spouse it to contradict the flow of things God intended to build a sustainable and fulfilling relationship. This means different things to men and women; you owe it to yourself and to your spouse to learn how to fully be available to them in an intimate way until death do your part. I have heard so many times spouses complain about how at one point intimacy was used as a way of control or punishment. This violates God’s design that sustains healthy marriages. If you ever used the silent treatment, withholding affirming your spouse or just using derogatory words in one way or another, you were withholding intimacy. So where to from here you ask? Thank God, he gives us a new slate in Christ, you repent and decide to do better, to exercise the gift of self-control. It is within you, you can choose to act right towards your spouse, including your kids. WHY INTIMACY STILL MATTERS Intimacy is not a weakness or a flaw. It is God’s gift It is part of what it means to bear His image. We were created to be known, to be understood, to partner to share life to love and be loved, `God called this ‘Good’ so you can choose to fulfill this good by learning to communicate better, to give of yourself, to die to yourself and live to another to be a safe place and a covering to your spouse, to complement what may be missing in them and to affirm what is in them and who they are. Adam says bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, he meant she is fine as good as me and my better half, your spouse is always your better if not bets half. CLOSING THOUGHT As a church family, may we honor God’s design by creating spaces for genuine connection—friendship, fellowship, marriage, community, and spiritual family. May none of us walk alone, because God Himself declared: “It is not good that the
When God Takes You Back, He’s Setting You Up for Greater
I have shared quiet a few times now about Gilgal and what it means, it’s a season of preparation for more. Sometimes this place may feel like God is taking you a few steps backward. Doors close, opportunities are missed, and progress feels delayed. But in the Kingdom of God, what looks like a setback is often a setup. Just as an archer pulls the bowstring back to launch the arrow forward with power and purpose, so does God draw His children into seasons of refinement, preparation, and redefinition before releasing them into their destiny. The Word says “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand.” – Psalm 37:23-24. Gilgal is not just a geographical location, it’s a spiritual symbol. In Joshua 5, Gilgal was where God told Joshua to circumcise the new generation of Israelites born in the wilderness. This was more than a physical act, it was a cutting away of an old identity and a shedding of slave mentality. God was declaring: “Today I have rolled away the reproach of Egypt from you” (Joshua 5:9). Even though the Israelites were no longer in Egypt, Egypt was still in them. The identity of slavery had clung to them so deeply that when trials came, they longed to return to the very place God had delivered them from (Exodus 14:12). Why? Because when faith is tested, we often default to what is familiar, even if it’s bondage when the testing of our faith is meant to produce steadfastness. God doesn’t want us returning to our past; He desires us to move from glory to glory and from faith to faith (2 Corinthians 3:18; Romans 1:17). Growth in God is not always comfortable, but it is always fruitful. Every challenge is an invitation to go deeper in Him, to know His character, and to discover more of who He is to you Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Rapha, Jehovah Nissi, The One Who Sees me. Leaving Behind Old Ways Some of us have been doing things a certain way for so long that it’s become a part of our identity. But God is calling you to a new level. He’s asking you to leave behind old patterns, familiar sins, and outdated mindsets. Sometimes this can even be good things and The Holy Spirit is calling you to better , Just like the Israelites couldn’t enter the Promised Land with an Egyptian mentality, neither can you walk into your calling carrying baggage from your past. “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?” – Isaiah 43:19This new thing requires pruning (John 15:2), and pruning can feel like loss. But in God’s economy, what is cut away is not to harm but to multiply. He’s not taking you backward to punish you; He’s preparing you for a launch forward. Heavenly Father,I come before You with a heart full of hope and expectation. Though I may not see the answer yet, I trust in Your perfect timing and unfailing promises. You are faithful, and I know You are working even when I cannot see it. “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles…” (Isaiah 40:31)I confess that my strength is renewed as I wait on You. I will not grow weary. I will not give up. You are empowering me in the waiting. “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.” (Lamentations 3:25)I declare that You are good to me, Lord. I will not rush ahead. I choose to seek You daily and trust that you are preparing the best for me. “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him…” (Psalm 37:7)I speak peace over my heart. I will not be anxious or fearful. I release control , and I surrender to Your will. Your peace guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. “For the vision is yet for an appointed time… though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.” (Habakkuk 2:3)I believe the vision You’ve given me will come to pass. I stand on Your Word and wait in faith. Your timing is perfect. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)Lord, I don’t have to understand everything. I place my full trust in You. Your ways are higher than my ways and Your plans are greater than what I can see. I confess that my times are in God’s hands, I refuse to give in to fear and doubt or discouragement. I am anchored in hope and stand firm in faith In Jesus my Lord. My times are in God’s hands.I refuse to give in to fear, doubt, or discouragement.I am anchored in hope, standing firm in faith,Because my God never fails. Would you like this formatted as a printable prayer or turned into a phone wallpaper? Inherited Battles and Generational Cycles Some of the struggles you face didn’t originate with you. These are battles inherited from previous generations—what some call “bloodline issues.” These could be patterns of addiction, cycles of poverty, chronic sickness, or emotional dysfunctions passed down through family lines. The Bible is clear that sin has generational consequences: “The Lord…visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me.” – Exodus 20:5Sin is not just an act—it can become an iniquity, a bent or predisposition toward certain behaviours. What Esau carried in his heart as bitterness and resentment, his descendant Amalek carried in his blood as hostility and violence toward Israel (Exodus 17:8-16). This is why Solomon warned:“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” – Proverbs 4:23 The Call to Stand in Victory Even if the sins of your ancestors have affected
From Roommates to Reconnected: A Step-by-Step Guide to the First Honest Conversation
You know the routine. You pass each other in the kitchen, swap a tired nod over getting the kids to bed, coordinate tomorrow’s logistics, and then retreat to your separate corners of the couch to stare at your phones. Between work deadlines, keeping the house functional, and trying to decode Grade 5 reading comprehension assignments, it is incredibly easy for your marriage to quietly slip into the “roommate phase.” The roommate phase is rarely born out of malice; it is usually born out of sheer exhaustion. When life demands so much of you, your relationship becomes just another thing to manage. But the good news is that breaking out of this phase does not require a dramatic, cinematic tear-jerker of a speech. In fact, please do not start by sitting your spouse down and saying, “We need to talk.” (Nothing makes a partner want to fake a sudden, highly contagious illness quite like those four words.) Reconnecting is about lowering the pressure and taking one gentle, honest step back toward each other. Here is how to break the ice without breaking a sweat. Step 1: Lower the Stakes (and Change the Scenery) Face-to-face conversations across a dining room table can feel like an interrogation. Instead, aim for a side-by-side conversation. Go for a short walk, take a drive to grab a coffee, or just sit next to each other on the porch. When you are looking at the same view rather than staring each other down, the defensive walls naturally begin to drop. Your only goal for this first step is 10 minutes of non-logistical talking. No budget discussions, no scheduling, no chores. Step 2: Use Low-Pressure Prompts When you have been distant for a while, jumping straight into “Why are we so disconnected?” is too heavy. Start by just remembering that you actually like each other. Try floating one of these gentle prompts into the conversation: Step 3: Listen Without Fixing When your spouse answers, your only job is to listen. If they vent about a stressful day, do not put on your toolbelt and try to fix the problem. If they say something vulnerable, do not correct their perspective. Just nod, validate them, and say, “That makes total sense.” Connection thrives in spaces where both people feel safe enough to just exist without being managed or corrected. Step 4: Keep It Short You do not have to solve three years of emotional distance in a fifteen-minute car ride. If the conversation goes well, let it end on a high note. A simple, “I really liked talking with you just now,” is a beautiful way to close. It plants a seed of safety and makes your spouse much more likely to open up the next time. Healing does not have to be incredibly heavy all the time. Sometimes, returning to the covenant you made looks like laughing over a burnt dinner, acknowledging the awkwardness of the distance, and deciding to bridge the gap anyway. Take a deep breath, pick a prompt, and invite your favorite roommate back into the marriage.