Hi Family
Last month in class we were talking about how to deal with difficult people,
We all encounter difficult people at work, in our families, in church, and even among friends. Personalities clash, expectations disappoint, and sometimes words wound. The question is not if we will face difficult relationships, but how we will respond when we do. As followers of Christ, we are called to respond differently. The world reacts. We reflect Christ.
It is always important to remember who you represent, we are ambassadors of Christ Scripture reminds us, “Let your light shine before others…” Matthew 5:16 When tensions rise, we represent Jesus. Our responses preach louder than our words. Before responding, ask: Does this reflect Christ’s character? The common phrase ‘what would Jesus do?’ comes to mind. Remember it is not weakness to respond with grace but rather it is strength under control.
James 1:19 teaches us to be “Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. “Difficult people often trigger emotional reactions. But the Holy Spirit empowers us to pause. Take a breath. Pray silently. Choose wisdom over impulse. Somewhere inside you is a fruit of The Spirit if given enough time would come to surface and manifest, it could be love, kindness or any of the many fruits of The Spirit. A calm response can defuse a heated moment. It is also important to remember that Grace does not mean allowing mistreatment. Even Jesus withdrew from hostile crowds (Luke 5:16). Loving others does not require tolerating abuse or enabling unhealthy behaviour. If you are in any unhealthy atmosphere you can always withdraw yourself for to a much more healthy environment or relationship. Boundaries can sound like, “I’m not comfortable being spoken to that way.”, or “Let’s revisit this conversation when we’re both calm.” Mature healthy boundaries protect peace while maintaining love.
Our Lord said “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Matthew 5:44Prayer changes perspective. It softens our hearts. When we pray for someone difficult, we begin to see them through God’s eyes often as someone wounded, fearful, or struggling. It is hard to hate someone you consistently lift before the Lord. Praying for those who hurt you is also a part of your own healing, it cleans your heart off bitterness. Praying for someone who is being difficult to you does not mean you are weak, neither does it mean you approve of what they are doing to you. It means you are like your father in heaven and you trust Him to vindicate you rather than vindicating yourself. Praying for those who hurt you also leads to you forgiving them. Unforgiveness chains us to the offence, forgiveness liberates you and you can quickly get to forgive when you pray. Forgiveness is not excusing the behaviour, it is releasing the burden to God. Ephesians 4:32 urges us to forgive as Christ forgave us.
Sometimes difficult people reveal areas in us that need attention, you can use the challenges people bring to you as opportunities for growth. They may also reveal in you pride, impatience, insecurity. There are lessons to take from the way people are treating you, is there a possibility that you can extract a lesson out of all this? Maybe. That friction and uneasiness may be to polish you
We are custodians of God’s love and Grace. We don’t just talk about this we live it.